Over the past two weeks, I’m having an issue that I’ve never really felt before. I’m overwhelmed and burning out at a rapid rate. Stay with me.
I work as a web content creator at my day job. I update the site all day, make changes, upload files, re-design pages, etc. I have this job to pay the bills, to look good on my resume, and to keep me constantly learning. While I’m there, Scandalous Beauty is always in the back of my mind. Always. Always. Should I do a roundup or review items individually? Maybe I should re-start my podcast. I know some amazing people who would be perfect to feature. I have to write that brand and let them know how amazing they are. I need a new email campaign.How do I get an opportunity to do what that blogger is doing? I need to tweak my layout for the 432nd time. Maybe I can post on Youtube every week. How do I get more comments? Why am I not doing more makeup on myself? Does anyone actually read my blog?
The list goes on and on and on.
To make matters worse (or better, depending how you look at it), I’ve gotten serious about a new venture I’m starting. I finally let my guard down, built my confidence up, and started to power through the fear that has been holding me back for years. I’m not the type to talk and talk about something before it happens, so I’ll just say it’s insanely time consuming. Setting up, researching, creating marketing plans, learning, and being freaking terrified is a lot to deal with.
After nine years of blogging, I am sick of being mediocre. I want to do more. I want to be stellar.
But when I wake up at 6am to work on projects, and I sit at my job for the next 8 hours and want to gnaw my fingers off in boredom, by the time I get home, I can’t even imagine opening my laptop. I simply can’t open another screen. I look at my editorial calendar and products that are ready to be photographed and reviewed, and by then, I want to walk out of the room, get a glass of wine and do absolutely nothing.
So how do I fight this urge? I have absolutely no idea. I’m taking it day by day. Eventually, I’d love to do all of this full-time. In fact, that’s what I’m setting myself up to do. I’m excited to have a future where I’ll (hopefully) be able to use my day to create, edit and post a few times a day, create video tutorials and vlogs and realize that I generate income and help my family by doing something that I created and really love to do. But until then, I don’t want to force anything. I’m spreading myself way too thin. So maybe I’ll post once a week. I won’t check every social media account I’m on 10 times a day. I’ll turn my phone off and focus on one thing at a time. I’ll unplug all together and enjoy the world.
There’s no conclusion to this post. I just had to vent. I’m off to sit on my porch, have a glass of tea and enjoy this lovely afternoon.